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Left Unspoken

Regret is like an illness,
bile rising in the throat,
no respite
no relief
except through tears
that will not banish bruised perplexity
or right the foreseen wrong
of thinking I had time.

Even then (so long ago)
I knew your days were short
but I made you my rock, my given,
my always.
Too wrong to be my only.
Too dear to kill the love.
I could commit my heart but not my life.
Forever needs more than chemistry.
So I trusted you to understand
my new allegiance
and my silence.

And now I look for clues in pixels
and speak as though
the answers will be offered.
These meager measures serve me not at all.
For what haunts my quiet moments
and nibbles at the edges of my thoughts
is the outlandish notion
that you are gone
and I never told you my heart.

This was written for Three Word Wednesday, Poets United and for M.A..

12 comments:

lissa said...

it's true, what is unsaid can be a regret, such a sad piece

hope you have a lovely day.

June 8, 2016 at 3:20 PM
Sheilagh Lee said...

That is a terrible thing to regret not speaking. my mom always said that regrets were foolish that each step we take leads us to the future would we really want to change all the good things just to change one thing when the best maybe yet to come?

June 8, 2016 at 4:54 PM
Sanaa Rizvi said...

I could commit my heart but not my life.
Forever needs more than chemistry.

Beautifully poignant..!

June 8, 2016 at 5:37 PM
Old Egg said...

I can feel the pain you describe Ann. Let's hope your eyes said more than your lips did for they often speak louder than words.

June 8, 2016 at 6:47 PM
Myrna R. said...

Lovely writing. Regret is like an illness. So true.
I enjoyed visiting your blog. I like how you've designed it.

June 8, 2016 at 6:51 PM
Sherry Blue Sky said...

Oh so sad to have not told your heart. All the "what-if"'s..........a poem that speaks to the heart.

June 8, 2016 at 6:53 PM
Sumana Roy said...

regret of unspoken words is so devastating and heart piercing for later times....

June 8, 2016 at 10:47 PM
Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

Poignant and heart-rending.

June 8, 2016 at 10:54 PM
Jae Rose said...

There are so many touching lines in this aching poem - Forever needs more than chemistry - stands out as does searching for clues in the pixels..i wonder if no matter how hard we try we do end up giving both our life and our heart..perhaps the two are inseparable also? It is so very goof to read your writing again

June 9, 2016 at 6:04 AM
hyperCRYPTICal said...

Poignant indeed. I have regrets of things unsaid, but think this a normal part of grieving. Nevertheless regrets remain.
Anna :o]

June 9, 2016 at 7:30 AM
Mary said...

A poem of strong regret...heartfelt. I like you writing because it is 'real.'
I like your poem also because it is a cautionary tale. We all should
remember to say the words when we can...tomorrow may never come.

June 9, 2016 at 9:39 AM
Alice Audrey said...

It reads so differently now that I know more about how this came about.

July 2, 2016 at 11:58 PM