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To William (Wherever You Are)


I dreamed of you last night.

Why are you the only one
from Then
who visits me in dreams?

You were out of place
in our group of youthful cynics.
Maybe that's why you left.
You went seeking your own kind:
idealists,
believers in passion,
those with faith in love 
everlasting.

I hope you found it.

Why do I suspect
disappointment
still follows you
like a personal rain cloud,
always drizzling?

In my dreams for you
I see a lovely wife
who thinks you hung the moon.
Bright and beautiful children
who hang on your every word.
Is that what you found?

Or did you give up,
surrender to despair
at the end of a rope
or the wrong end of a gun?

I wonder if I'll ever know.

I kissed you last night,
held your hand,
wouldn't let you go.
My husband was un-jealous.
He knew
you and I
were too different
for anything real.

Some people leave without quitting the room;
you walked away completely.
Your too-common name
made you Houdini,
untraceable.

I still await your return.
But only in dreams and fantasies.


This is a Sunday Scribblings post.

7 comments:

Cathy said...

It wasn't hard to relate to the bittersweet feeling of this poem.

I often wonder what happened to some people I used to know back then.

May 27, 2012 at 10:41 AM
jaerose said...

Perhaps William is in the right place for now..in your dreams..Sweet William..like a flower..still there..maybe it is true that bad news reaches you and William is doing well..blooming..maybe he is even reading your words...i hope i hope..Jae

May 27, 2012 at 12:15 PM
Archna Sharma said...

I think we all have a 'William' who we hold in a special light. Hopefully he hasn't given up on that everlasting place. Maybe he asks his dreams to hold on to you.

May 27, 2012 at 10:47 PM
tikkatandoori said...

a wonderful colloquy with W...
What happened must have been for the good,
he would have known, he would have understood,
now you look back and want to keep track...
but what would you do if he really came back?

May 28, 2012 at 2:28 PM
Alice Audrey said...

Might you find him at a high school reunion? I'm pretty sure that's what they're for, though I've never been to one.

May 28, 2012 at 4:36 PM
Ann (bunnygirl) said...

@Alice: I've attended all three reunions we've held so far and he wasn't there. He isn't on Classmates or any reunion website I'm aware of. None of us know how to reach him, but I and some of his other close friends from high school have rare enough names that he could easily reach out to us if he wanted to. I can only conclude he wants nothing to do with us.

May 28, 2012 at 4:43 PM
Alice Audrey said...

I will admit that I have never tried to look anyone up from anyplace I left behind. High school, college, various places I've worked - once I'm gone, I'm gone. There are a few people I've kept in touch with, but I've been keeping in touch with them all along. I've welcomed a few people who looked me up. They have been mercifully rare, but I don't turn too many people like that away. Maybe he is like that?

May 29, 2012 at 12:31 AM